I am cloaked in your love, “surrounded” by love. This beautiful song was sung to my fellow firefighters and EMT’s during our recent visit to the local Amish school during fire safety day. They were all so proud to share their song with us as we shared with them fire safety drills and gave them all little red fire helmets, coloring books, & crayons as they watched us demonstrate the equipment on the fire trucks and ambulances. They were so thrilled to operate the lights and sirens on the fire trucks. It was truly a day of giving more and getting so much more in return. My heart was filled with bliss. I’m loving the Master Key Experience course.
The next day I had the pleasure of giving out Halloween candy to the children on Lake Tomahawk in Squad Truck 45 with the lights flashing. I felt so happy to give more as I got more with their thanks and happiness as the smiling children scattered around my squad truck in their delightful costumes.
I’m feeling elated and overjoyed. I’m loving life, so I thought until the next day, November 1, 2018. The day I start my new read for a month.
“I will greet this day with love in my heart.” What powerful words sir Og, as I start The Scroll Marked II.
As I pondered on what sentence to add from Scroll I to carry forward, I finally decided on the sentence; “Today I begin a new life.” How profound I thought because my first choice was, “I have stumbled in ignorance and fallen into pools of self-pity.” I didn’t want to start my new month focusing on self-pity but yet that’s how I’ve felt for so many decades of low self esteem and grief. How can I feel so overjoyed for two days and then bam 💥 I’m really sad.
I find myself weeping and sobbing as I read this scroll. I realize that I’ve been gossiping and criticizing everyone except me. Holy ego I must bite my tongue.
I’m also crying each evening as I read, “The Gal in the Glass” followed by, “I Love You.” I look in the mirror and realize that I’ve cheated the gal in the glass with decades of heartaches & tears. I don’t love myself right now but I must start in order to achieve my dreams and to become the hero in my own life. This gal who thought she was happy is finally realizing that she was only happy on the surface.
Changing my blueprint is more difficult than I thought and training my stubborn prideful “subby” will require more work and constant training with the daily exercises. I now realize that I must “endure sadness” for my soul to be open, then I can “welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart.”
I must build that huge bridge and get over it now and stop wallowing in the darkness of self-pity if I want to live my life in love, peace, & harmony.
I will succeed because failure is no longer an option for me. From this day forward I will forgive all who have hurt me and I must bury the anger and hate, so that I can finally and joyfully greet each day with love in my heart.